Hey Baby, what's your sign?

Have you ever noticed all the signs that people put up on the road? Of course there are the yard sale signs and the garage sale signs and the estate sale signs. Because I live in a “historical” area (the Spanish conquistadores settled Espanola as the first capitol in what we now consider the United States before moving it to Santa Fe well over 300 years ago…and you’re welcome for the history lesson) there are often signs pointing out special historic tours. There are however, once in awhile, some signs that are intriguing. Not too long ago there was a sign up on the highway by my house that said “barn sale.” What the heck is a barn sale? I had kind of imagined a sale of barns or maybe a sale of barn type animals…you know, a table full of baby chicks…4 for $5. I know, it’s a little sick, but it does make for a funny mental image. Well it turned out to be an art sale (not that I went, but I heard the buzz around town). How lame is that?...an art sale disguised as a cool barn sale (there are also a lot of artsy fartsy weirdoes around here…sorry, I mean creative geniuses…okay, I really mean artsy fartsy weirdoes.) Well for the last couple of days there have been signs out around town that have “O ’ K” with an arrow pointing in what I assume is the direction of whatever that sign means. I’ll be honest, I’ve been tempted to follow the arrows just to see where they lead and what the heck that sign means. So, I was thinking that maybe I should make up some weird signs with arrows and paste them up around town. I was thinking that I could either stick them up so that they lead in just a big circle or have them lead to a really strange destination (I don’t know, maybe the city dump or something). I wonder how many people would just follow it to see (probably all the people like me). Anyway it was just a thought.
On a completely different note, my homegirl Bettie had a totally scary encounter at the Little Caesar’s the other night. So like any city of respectable size, Espanola has its fair share of vagrants. Every so often one is approached for spare change or whatever else a vagabond may need. Well in this manner, she was approached by a guy who asked for change…she gave him a couple of dollars. Well, he proceeds to tell her that he is trying to get to Albuquerque because he just got out of prison and was staying with his brother…but, that was working out because he just beat his brother up. She said that as he got closer she saw that he was all bloody and he then started following her to her car until a different car drove up. Totally freaky. Of course, when she got home she was totally an emotional wreck…which is way better than I would have been. Needless to say we will not be venturing out of our car at night alone anymore.
That reminds me, a couple of months ago there was a guy in Santa Fe with a sign that said “Trying to get to San Francisco, I’m Korean.” I’m glad this guy has aspirations, but really, do we need to bring race into it? I think if I were going to make a sign for myself, it would say “Need a vacation, every penny helps" or maybe "Need a new pair of shoes, please help."
So, what would your sign say?...And avoid bloody men in dark parking lots...or just in general.