Paranoia, paranoia, everybody's out to get me..

Although I hate to admit it, I find that I am something of a conspiracy theorist. Now don’t get me wrong, I generally don’t think that the government is out to get me (most of the time, but I’ve had to bust out my evasive driving tactics a few times…okay not really, but I sometimes take an unnecessary turn if I feel like someone has been following me too long which is totally not a joke)…and I’m pretty sure that the moon landing actually happened (I watched a Myth Busters about that one). When I see an abandoned car on the side of the road I automatically assume that there is a dead body somehow involved…particularly if the car is in a remote place. I’ve also noted that there haven’t been very many low riders around lately. In fact, I haven’t seen one in quite some time. My homeskillet Bettie and I were discussing this fact over the weekend. We finally concluded that just as video killed the radio star, gas prices may have killed the low rider. Don’t get me wrong, I am ecstatic over the recent price dropping (I hear the gas is down to $2.05 in Albuquerque…its still $2.39 here) but I wonder if there is a greater conspiracy at work. Perhaps there is a granola/tree-hugger environmental rage which has many a cholo upending their roots and heritage. Maybe this is why there is such an advent of the previously mentioned low-rider bicycles (see blog posted 9/11/08). I don’t have the answers, but it’s one of those things that make me go hmmmm.
I also wonder if many of these small so-called used car dealerships really are what they say. In these hard economic times I question their staying power. There are two particular ones that I am thinking of, one in Santa Fe and one in Espanola. These two “dealerships” have been around for many years…probably as long as I can remember (which isn’t saying much since I can’t really remember what day it is most of the time). Anyway, both of these “dealerships” (I’ve decided to use quotes to emphasize the fact that I don’t really think they are…if I were talking to you I would probably even do air quotes) frequently have high end cars (and I’m not just talking BMW/Mercedes high end, but like Astin Martin high end) in their crummy buildings that I’m sure were built post WW II to be gas stations. Add to that the fact that I never see anyone actually frequenting these places, I’m pretty sure that they are front for something. Mind you I don’t plan on stopping by to find out for what…like I need some guy named Guido pulling out a nine and “taking care of me” (Okay, so I watch too many movies…and maybe I’m a little less gangsta than I think I am).
So, as I was pondering my conspiracy theories I started to wonder what other people have paranoid theories about. What are some of yours?...and kudos to those of you who got blog title! (hint: it's a song)